My Journey From Burned out ICU Nurse, to NP School Drop out, to Empowered CRNA: How Choosing Your Hard can Lead to Your Dream Career
I came home from shadowing a CRNA I worked with in the PACU... I had already started a Nurse Practitioner program but that night, I made an intentional choice that would change everything. I chose my hard.
But let’s start from the beginning…
Growth as a New Grad ICU Nurse and Travel Nurse
I started my career as a new graduate in a Level 1 Medical ICU, handling CRRT, ARDS, and septic train wreck chaos. Those first few years were a whirlwind of learning—rapidly developing critical thinking skills, managing complex patients, and learning pharmacokinetics and hemodynamics. But after a few years at the bedside, I reached a breaking point when I realized I was no longer showing up as the best version of myself. Something had to change.
After gaining a solid foundation, I took the leap into travel nursing to expand my experience. Over the next few years, I worked in ICUs across the country, from a busy Level 1 trauma center in Boston to small rural ICU in California. Each assignment challenged me in new ways—adapting to different hospital cultures, mastering new skills, and proving my expertise in unfamiliar environments. Travel nursing helped me grow exponentially, but it also reinforced one undeniable truth: I wanted still wanted more.
The Hard Choice: Choosing NP School—And then Dropping Out
Like many bedside nurses seeking career advancement, I believed NP school was the next logical step. I completed one full semester before I started asking myself hard questions: Was I doing this for the right reasons? Was I choosing comfort over true fulfillment?
After one COVID ICU assignment, I needed a break and took a PACU staff job where I worked closely with CRNAs. Watching them practice, seeing their level of autonomy, and experiencing the impact they had on patient care completely changed my perspective. I had already started my Nurse Practitioner program, but the more I observed the CRNAs, the more I realized that this was the career I truly wanted. It became clear that becoming a CRNA aligned with my passion for critical care, problem-solving, and making real-time decisions that directly impacted patient outcomes. My mind was made up— I chose my hard.
Making the decision to leave NP school wasn’t easy. I had already invested time and money, and I feared the idea of failure. What if I didn't get in? What if I didn't pass?
But nothing great ever comes from comfort zones.
One Year Later: The Journey through CRNA School
A year later, after dedicating myself to preparation, I was accepted into CRNA school. The transition was far from easy. The academic demands were intense—relearning how to study complex concepts, long days of lectures, hours of studying pharmacology, and the constant pressure of exams. Some days, I felt overwhelmed, questioning whether I had made the right choice. Imposter syndrome crept in, and there were definitely moments of doubt.
There were times I felt stretched beyond my limits, but I reminded myself why I chose this path in the first place. Growth was uncomfortable, but every difficult moment helped shape me into a more capable provider. By the end of CRNA school, I not only gained the skills and knowledge needed to be a CRNA, but I also developed resilience, confidence, and a deeper appreciation for the journey that got me there.
Growth is Hard and Uncomfortable—But Necessary
The truth is, growth is never easy. It demands consistency, persistence, and a willingness to be uncomfortable.
Learning new skills feels awkward at first. Whether it’s mastering intubation or placing arterial lines, or making a career change- growth requires patience.
Overcoming self-doubt takes intentional work. Imposter syndrome can creep in, but remind yourself you deserve to be there.
Breaking old patterns is tough. Staying in a safe but unfulfilling career might seem easier, but stepping into the unknown is where transformation happens.
If you’re feeling stretched, uncertain, or challenged — you’re growing.
GROWTH IS HARD. GROWTH IS UNCOMFORTABLE.
A Dream Career as a CRNA
Today, I wake up excited about my work. Had I stayed in NP school, I would have faced a different struggle—one of dissatisfaction, burnout, and what-ifs. Instead, I took control of my career and embraced the hard that led to purpose and fulfillment. Choosing to become a CRNA was one of the most difficult yet rewarding decisions of my life. It reinforced that true growth requires stepping outside of your comfort zone.
How to Incorporate "Choose Your Hard" Into Daily Life
This mindset isn’t just about big career changes—it’s about making intentional choices every day. These tips may help you live life more fully... and save you a semester of school!
Set Clear Goals: Define what you truly want in your career and life. I love writing down my goals because it makes them more real and actionable. And who doesn't love to cross goals off a list?!
Embrace Discomfort: Growth happens outside your comfort zone. CRNA school was new and so uncomfortable, but to push through meant a life that aligned with my goals.
Make Small, Daily Changes: Whether it’s waking up earlier to get a workout in, or networking to find a coach or mentor to talk to about your career goals - intentional changes have a lasting impact.
Prioritize Self-Care: Choosing your hard doesn’t mean sacrificing your well-being. In CRNA school, I found my love of running which helped me unwind and feel more in control.
Surround Yourself with Growth-Minded People: I have my own mentors and still connect with classmates regularly. Surround yourself with people who inspire and challenge you.
Your Choice: Stay Stuck or Take the Leap?
Every journey begins with a single decision. Will you remain where you are, stuck in burnout and doubt, or will you take a step toward the life and career you truly desire?— whatever that looks like! The decision is yours. While change is hard, staying in a place that doesn’t fulfill you is even harder.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, start small. Identify what’s holding you back—fear of failure, financial uncertainty, imposter syndrome—and address it head-on. Break your goals into manageable steps and seek out resources to help you succeed. Whether it’s networking with CRNAs, enrolling in courses, or investing in career coaching, every effort you make moves you closer to your dream.
Visualize your success. Imagine the life you could have if you made the leap—whether it is applying to CRNA school, making a career change, or even starting your own business.
Picture your perfect day five years from now:
Who are you? What are you doing? What does your schedule look like?
Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you. Find mentors, connect with professionals who have walked this path before, and never underestimate the power of community. The more you engage with those who have made the leap, the more confident you will become in your own ability to do the same.
Remember, fear and self-doubt are normal, but they should never be the reason you hold yourself back. Instead of focusing on “what if I fail?” shift your mindset to “what if I succeed?”
CRNA school? So hard.
But staying in a career that doesn’t fulfill you? Harder.
Choosing growth? It’s uncomfortable—but also how you reach your potential.
Choose the hard that leads to fulfillment.
Choose the hard that pushes you toward your goals.
Your future self will thank you.
And remember,
YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that you are capable of so much more than you think. The moments that seem impossible are often the ones that shape you the most.
Are You Ready to Choose Your Hard?
